Scriptural Tips on How To Know She is The One
By Osondo Ahirika
It is an incontrovertible fact that, the female folk outnumber males, if we stratify world population in the ratio of sex.
The irony is, whereas, we have so many ladies, what is severely scarce is, finding marriable ones. Of course! It isn’t easy to find a wife(Proverbs 31:10), for the virtue that defines them is hard to come by.
Unlike single ladies, bachelor’s don’t really lose sleep about identifying the woman of their dreams. Somehow, innately wired in a man, is the consciousness to know, this is the missing rib, that very moment he first encounters a woman.
However, for the avoidance of doubt, here are Blblical tips on how to know She is the one. Again, these basic clues transcends religious bias and culture, having universal application. Let’s search the scripture.
(1)SHE MAKES YOU BECOME A POET
Who is that lady that makes you an instant poet? When you meet a girl who inspires the wordsmith in you, to express genuine feelings and adoration for her, she may well be the one. That’s what happened to Adam, when he first saw Eve. King Solomon, who dedicated a whole chapter to writing love verses, or his father David, who wrote glowing tributes to flatter his woman are notable for this too(see Psalm 45: 9-14).
(2)OPPOSITE ATTRIBUTES THAT COMPLIMENT YOUR CHARACTER DEFICIENCY
Opposites attract, just as like poles repel in the law of magnetic fields. When you find that woman, whose character, is very unalike, and dissimilar to yours, yet, you find that, amazingly compatible. She may be tall and you are short. You are very loud and she is quiet. You are outgoing, she is reserved etc. Sometimes, she is more endowed than you, but, she is not showy and doesn’t flaunt it to undermine you or make you feel inferior to her. Go for her. Abigail was a brilliant and smart woman, but her husband Nabal was a fool, she covered up for his flaw(1 Samuel 25:25)
(3) A WILLINGNESS TO LOSE HER INDIVIDUALITY FOR YOU
A lady who is without reservation about getting under your name and being overshadowed by you is a wife beckoning.
She counts it gain, to lose every pride and self identity to have you and bear your insignia. She does not want to struggle for the spotlight with you. Don’t look back on such a woman. Ruth was such a woman(Ruth 1:16).
(4)SHE READILY RISKS ALL FOR YOUR SAKE
Imagine the heart Sarah had for Abraham. Twice, first with Pharoah, and then, King Abimelech, she agreed to sacrifice herself to save the skin of Abraham(Genesis 12:16-19 & 20:13). When you see a woman who stands by you through thick and thin, don’t betray her love.
All she does is, exertion to make you happy and fulfilled. Sarah even went as far as giving her maid, Hagar to bear a child for Abraham, if that will make Abraham’s vision of being a father be fulfilled.
(5) SHE SEDUCES YOU WITH MODERATED GRACE
Believe me, if you will, every woman is a natural seductress. The woman of your dream will surely seduce you to be man enough. Just that, she does it with tepid fear, restraint and seemingly holy shyness. That’s what we see from Ruth when she enheartened her way to Boaz by siddling up to the sleeping Boaz like an apprentice temptress(Ruth 3:6-12)
(6). SHE PULLS YOU TOWARDS GOD
Some women pull you to Shoprite, Dubai for shopping and celebrity parties, don’t get me wrong, I’m not condemning them. However, the best for you is the woman who draws you toward God. That is what made the difference in the life of the Shunamite woman and her husband (11 Kings 4: 8-10).
(7) SHE IS AN INTERCESSOR
If you find a woman who, beyond pulling you towards God, prays for, and makes intercession for you, she is a wife waiting. Abigail mediated for her husband Nabal, to have him spared of David’s wrath and Hannah was always in the prayer mode for God’s intervention in her home(1 Samuel 25:24-31 and 1 Samuel 1:15-17).
(8) SHE IS EASY ON THE EYES
A woman is God’s best piece of art. The most endowed and beautiful of his creations. Truth is that without beauty, a woman cannot wholly hold down a man’s love. Believe me, men know how they define beauty. In marriage, your inner beauty must radiate outward to complete your physical appearance. If you find a woman who satisties that innate yardstick by which men evaluate them, stick with her. That’s how Rachel trapped Jacob and Esther won the heart of the King(Genesis 29;17 & Esther 2:17).
(9). A VIRGIN
This may alarm many in this age to speak of seeking out a virgin to marry. Well, though there still are women who marry as virgins, I am not using that term literally. I however refer to a woman who is single, unattached, perhaps has walked out of previous relationships and is poised to settle with you. Her heart is virgin and she is not confused about whether it is you, Bruno or Jerry, she should say, “I do” to. Love triangles can be very tricky and risky. It shouldn’t be a Lady who, even on the eve of her introduction or wedding, is still feeling like she ought to spend a last night with another lover(Luke 1:27).
(10). A REPENTANT WOMAN
She may have a dirty past. We all do. If she has turned the page and led a new life, she deserves a chance if you fall in love with such a woman. Rahab was an ex harlot(Joshua 6:17-25), who was married by Salman(Matthew 1:5), ending up in the revered lineage of Jesus Christ.
(11). A GOD FEARING ADVISER.
If you are blessed with a woman like Pilates wife, who can give you good counsel(Matthew 27:19), don’t lose her. Where you find a woman that can console, encourage and motivate you, that’s a wife around you. Jezebel was such an inspiration for her husband, just that, she exerted that grace for evil and not for good. It however does not detract from the fact that, she boosted and bolstered her husband.
(12)SHE IS NOT MONEY MINDED/GOLD DIGGING
Marriage is not a profession or a poverty alleviation scheme. Flee from a woman, who saturates you with resigned tales eliciting self pity for her sorry plight as soon as you meet her and commence serious discussions.
Clues that give away such women are not complaints like, “I don’t have transport money to come”., Send me recharge card, I don’t have credit in my phone to call you”, “There is no food in this house, I have not eaten since morning”, “I have headache but no money to buy panadol”, “Since my father died, I have suffered and have nobody to help”. My brother, that is a red flag.
A wife is one that exudes the positive energy of a helper, even when she has deep afflictions, not a liability, who sees marriage as a lifeline to riches. A husband isn’t a charity worker or philanthropist. Fact is, even when women know, it is the man’s place to be the provider and caregiver, they shy away from asking the man they love for money. They dread putting him under any pressure in the bid to fulfill his God assigned role as caregiver.
Delilah is a bad example of a woman who places priority on money. She was a fun seeking type who gave away Sampson for eleven hundred pieces of silver(Judges 16:5).
A woman in a relationship with you who sniffs around for money is afflicted with the spirit of whoredom. Flee from such.
As in all things, a woman can fake these virtues and lure you into marriage that turns sour. I however wager that, a combination of several of these factors afore listed cannot be faulted.
Osondu Ahirika, is a cleric, teacher, playwright and Public affairs analyst based in Uyo, Akwa Ibom State.